Where the hell is it???

My fitness bug that is...

I am attempting to go to the gym, it's killing me and yet i still havent found the bug that makes you want to go and not eat rubbish instead!

I hate the way i look just now...I am HUGE! This is no joke to be honest I'm the biggest i have ever been and i really dont like it.

I have a Personal trainer waiting for me to restart our appointments at one gym, I also am a member of another gym which has a great thump boxing class and body blast class. (dont ask about the joint memberships another great idea of the ex's that only put me in more debt/ tied contracts)

Now it's time to sort myself out! And stop moaning as i stuff another bar of chocolate into my face...

I'm off to phone the PT! and book myself into some classes i think...

Tale as old as time...

Well its the same old saying... it will get better in time, your better off blah blah blah but at the moment I just want him to give me a cuddle and tell me everything will be ok. And he's not around, doesnt want to give me the cuddle and im now suspecting didnt want to for a while...But i just cant stop missing him and it's the little things i miss (cause he didnt really help with any of the big things lets be honest!). I know times a healer but jeezy peeps i wish it would hurry up a bit!

So I have to make a big decision...to sell the car or not?? I have worked out a way of keeping it but it reminds me of us and maybe it's better that i just change everything to get the clean start i need?? I have a cracking deal for a new citroen ds3 and im not going to lie i've wanted one for a while but I just cant seem to let go of the kuga argh!!

I've also stood on the scales for the first time since we spilt up - oh my freaking god! (and not in a good way!!) So im off to the gym tonight and will be cutting out all the crap. I have about 4 months to sort myself out before bridesmaid duties and I have a lovely dress i want to wear to Nyc's henny. It's a monsoon size 16 and I will be in it! (I have a looooog way to go)

so instead of mopping around (which i want to do) im going to do my moping at the gym and a water bottle is going to be my new best friend (yeah! not). Need to sort myself out!!!!