Its funny what a bit of time, a lot of space and reflection can do to a person...

Its been six months since my world was turned upside down..

and because of it I am now a stronger person. I look back with sadness at the person I had become, the things I was willing to accept and the compromises I was making all for the person I loved.

and it's amazing that he could just walk away and start afresh with someone new. I hope history comes back to bite him in the bum!

Yes it's changed me but for the better I think and im ready to start a new chapter of my life :)

So BRING IT ON !!! :)

its time to stop kidding myself

Well i weighed myself last night and things are not good.

I need to stop eating crap. pure and simple and get my bum moving more.

and it's going to be worse in the winter i just know it!

So i have a new mission. ...

• Severe calorie counting (1400 calories a day) with lots of meal planning involved. If its planned i eat it if not it's too easy to pick something up.
• Lots of water (I have an 750ml bottle sitting on my desk there is no excuse) 
• Get moving whether its the gym, walking or whatever takes my fancy I just need to get exercising.

I know the above works and im not happy where I am so why am i not doing anything about it??

I have 4 classes booked at the gym this week.

Tues - Blast and pump (1.5 hours)
wed - fat loss (1 hour)
Thurs - boxing (1 hour)

I really need to do about 2 hours a day for 6 days.

I also go to Italian Classes on a monday night and run a guide group on a wednesday night. I also am at work for 6.30 for a networking event every wednesday morning.

So if I take a wednesday off as that is pretty busy already and im pretty knackered to be honest and train the rest I should be good?

I really want to do the pilates class on a tuesday morning at 6 but i sleep in for it all the time - booo!

I could do the same classes on a friday as a tuesday?

lots to decide....

lost mojo...

Hello fellow bloggers and stalkers

well not a lot been happening in Eve World...

I was dog sitting for a week, and last weekend I made it a 3 days weekend and got some stuff done about my house - clearing out wardrobes and the like. So pretty chilled out really.

This weekend I am sanding the final floor in my house! Woohoo then i'll get my new bed up :)
I also have to finish painting the hallway, paint my kitchen and the livingroom but to be honest i have lost my mojo.

I just want to chill out at weekends and with a trapped nerve in my hip am just feeling sorry for myself!

However tonight I start my italian classes! So excited to be honest :)

what, where, why and when?

Where has the last two weeks gone?

I have been sooo busy yet i have no clue what i've done...this is not good!

I was in Nairn for a long weekend - mum, grandparents, sis and her hubby and me. Oh and the two dogs. Brilliant weekend was had and everyone chilled out to the max.

Last weekend I had a friend to stay and im dog sitting so lots of walkies happening. I also had a friends 40th afternoon tea which was great fun and got me out and about in town again (although the realisation that im single hit home hard which is a bit daunting).

apart from that work busy which im loving!!

Only a few more days till the parentals are home and I cant wait :)

Summertime and the living is easy ....

I am totally chilled out and on cloud nine :)

I managed to secure a place in a must sought after network group yesterday woohoo! It was a fight to the end with two ifa's going for the spot. But i got it!! The feedback from my interview is great, my personality won through and its the much needed confidence boost i was needing. Go me!! (please remind me of this whn i have to get up at five thirty on wednesday's lol!)

I had a great weekend, spent most of it walking...along the beach, through the international market just chilling out really.

and it gets better a 4 day week! which means im technically halfway through lol!

And this weekend is going to be great fun! Grandparents ahoy!! haha!!

I am alive...

Im still alive! Just!!!

I've been to the gym 4 times this week - 3 classes of which one involved a fitness test and weight lifting.

I also managed a pump class (minus the weights haha!) so although i looked like an over-weight pansy the work is good for my arms :)

and last night I managed all the steps in step class and this is no mean feat as there are lots of twirls and jumping over the step...more time off and over it than actually on it! haha!

Im going next week to pump and abs& streach on tuesday, fat loss on wednesday and step on thursday. Rock and Roll!!!

although i have a bit of an injury...the arch in my right foot is pretty sore. I think i'll need to do some googling to see whats happened but definately better when i wear my trainers with the arch support.

in other news - the git is a lier. He was seeing some 2 weeks after we broke up. Lost my arse! Also a friend bumped into his mum and she just wants to bang our heads together...ehm hello?? why what have i done?? More importantly what is he telling her!?!?! He has stuff at mine which i refuse to drop off for him. He wants it - he knows where i live...where he can wait on the step! Argh need to get a grip. It just irkes me and there is no need for this on a FRIDAY! There is the weekend to look forward to :)

Have good ones :)  Im off to open the wine hehe!

Unfit unhealthy and generally need a kick up the bum

well the title says it all i guess..

now to put my life in a bigger prospective I am constantly on the go...I dont tend to go home most nights, sit on my bum and watch endless hours of tv.

Yet I am now struggling at the gym - due to the break I had while in my last relationship, the fact i used to eat wrong and all the wrong stuff  and I am addicted to chocolate!

So i have started going back to classes at the gym - 2/3 per week and I meet my sister there to make me go. I sweat buckets, feel soo unfit but I know that it's little steps and one day i'll feel a bit better and manage a bit more.

The trouble is I have carpal tunnel in both my wrists. I had surgery for this 3 months ago in my right wrist and although it's healing nicely I have absolutely no power, strength and very little grip in my right hand/ arm. Im trying to work on this but a push up is a task (doesnt help with my weight either).

Its not all negative though...my weight is shifting Im a stone down already but i really dont feel it.

I have a personal trainer waiting for me to restart but at the moment I feel whats the point when im sooo heavy and pathetic lol...or maybe i need him to gove me the kick i require?

Im watching Fat: THe fight of my life with Jessie Pavelka and i love that program and monday nights epoisde there was a girl not far from me...she had to do 2 hours minimum of gym a day and eat 1400 calories. So thats my new target...get the gym sessions up and the calorie count down!

Ill let you know how i get on...if i survive! haha!

I ended up watching Eat, Pray, Love last night and while i like the 'idea' of the book and travelling for a year to find the person inside the ending is such a let down..she goes off with a man. The very thing she ran away from in the beginning.

It also led me to thinking most of last night about my part in all my relationships and how I very much feel the victim just now (yes even 3 months on) but at the same time I have to remember that i didnt like my life in coupledom....I didnt like having to come home every night straight after work, sort endless washing piles, think of dinner and what would need to be done for the two of us for the next day. Also the feeling that in order to spend time together we had to sit and watch a program in front of the tv. I had turned into everything that i didnt want to be and while I spoke to my then partner about it all and how i was feeling he just thought i was having a hissy fit about the housework again (although did very little to help).

So Ive got a bit of prospective...we werent right and ultimately we didnt fit when trying to work togther as a team.

I also suspect I am better on my own and while I would like to share my life with someone I also crave the independence of living alone. Is this a result of modern day living or just my indepence shining through?

So in the meantime while Im trying to get over my past relationship and in no way ready for the next I am going to plan my next adventure...

i suspect learning italian and planning a summer vacation there next year will be my next adventure, it's been stirring about for years and there seems no better time than the present!

or am i just reliving Eat Pray Love??

Feeling very cultural..

Well the midnight swim was fab! Girls loved it and I soooo want to go back!

Tosca was amazing and just being able to sit outside in a dress and have a wee picnic while you watch an amazing opera is so unreal. Wish they did it more often!

And on saturday I went to see Macbeth, it was a live screening of the play but sooo good!

I feel very cultural :)

this week is just more gym work, a work/dinner then tomorrow and then DIY at the weekend. Back to earth with a bump haha!

Swimming under the stars at midnight...

Does it get any better???

Im taking my guides to a local open air swimming pool tonight for a midnight swim. It's sea water and thankfully the weather's been fantastic so it'll be nice and warm :) There'll be music and laughter and even a trip to an amazing ice cream shop before hand.

Im well excited!!!!

and tomorrow im off to Duthie park to sit outside and watch Tosca opera thanks to BP's big screens :)

Loving the summer this year :)

Woohoo! The scales went in the RIGHT directions

Morning :)

So today is weigh in day....and the scales went in the right direction.....a 6lb loss!!!

That makes a stone so far since i started eating more healthier, drinking at least 2 litres of water a day and getting my bum to the gym at least twice a week.

1 stone down, 9 to go :( Baby steps though, baby steps!

Therapy or just some DIY?

So it seems my break did me good and I came back ready to tackle the world - or the rest of my flat lol!

My flat is looking amazing even if i do say so myself (the hard work and tears....yes there were tears..were all worth it so far! ) two rooms down but im a long way to being finished. Lots still in the pipeline and the floors are going to be the biggest tackle by far!!

The diy is theraputic and good for the soul i think. Im beginning to feel a lot more like me :)

Im also back at the gym with two classes this week and aching as a result. Cant believe how unfit and heavy i have got!! Im also full swing into ww and i think that is also helping to regain control of MY life again.

Cause at the end of the day that is all it is...giving up control/ letting someone else in. But i will admit i did feel I'd lost control for a bit with the endless weeping and not being able to stop, the lack of self confidence and everything else that goes with it. It amazing what you can hide behind closed doors.

So the weekend is upon us and a girly night is planned for tonight - woohoo! There will definately be bubbles involved :) I have a few errands to run tomorrow and thats about it really planning on chilling out - might take myself off to the park or a beach with my book if the sun is going to play along :) Will definately involve exercise and lots of healthy eating.

Have a lovely weekend :)

Well I decided to have a holiday...

It's been a hard few months for me and to top it off the exOH decided to email me to tell me he's seeing someone else (guess he's no longer lost then).

So I decided to get out of the city for a few days and go see some of my friends.

I chilled out

I went to visit the zoo

I had lie in's

I had some quality time with friends

I got to see Bon Jovi (even after all the faff with the ex keeping the tickets)

I relaxed

I also got my head in a better space

So I came home and met up with all my family had a great giggle and got some more DIY done. My house is looking better - more me!

Also booked a long weekend break with my family in August

Have a another holiday in the pipeline too :)

Now it's time to get back to work and enjoy what the future holds - it can only be exciting!

Where the hell is it???

My fitness bug that is...

I am attempting to go to the gym, it's killing me and yet i still havent found the bug that makes you want to go and not eat rubbish instead!

I hate the way i look just now...I am HUGE! This is no joke to be honest I'm the biggest i have ever been and i really dont like it.

I have a Personal trainer waiting for me to restart our appointments at one gym, I also am a member of another gym which has a great thump boxing class and body blast class. (dont ask about the joint memberships another great idea of the ex's that only put me in more debt/ tied contracts)

Now it's time to sort myself out! And stop moaning as i stuff another bar of chocolate into my face...

I'm off to phone the PT! and book myself into some classes i think...

Tale as old as time...

Well its the same old saying... it will get better in time, your better off blah blah blah but at the moment I just want him to give me a cuddle and tell me everything will be ok. And he's not around, doesnt want to give me the cuddle and im now suspecting didnt want to for a while...But i just cant stop missing him and it's the little things i miss (cause he didnt really help with any of the big things lets be honest!). I know times a healer but jeezy peeps i wish it would hurry up a bit!

So I have to make a big decision...to sell the car or not?? I have worked out a way of keeping it but it reminds me of us and maybe it's better that i just change everything to get the clean start i need?? I have a cracking deal for a new citroen ds3 and im not going to lie i've wanted one for a while but I just cant seem to let go of the kuga argh!!

I've also stood on the scales for the first time since we spilt up - oh my freaking god! (and not in a good way!!) So im off to the gym tonight and will be cutting out all the crap. I have about 4 months to sort myself out before bridesmaid duties and I have a lovely dress i want to wear to Nyc's henny. It's a monsoon size 16 and I will be in it! (I have a looooog way to go)

so instead of mopping around (which i want to do) im going to do my moping at the gym and a water bottle is going to be my new best friend (yeah! not). Need to sort myself out!!!!

So everything in the land of eve...

Well everything is ok...im surviving actually better than that!

• I have plans to do up my house,
• I'm looking into a new car
• I fit my bridemaid dress (this isnt a good thing as it's a huge size! so need to work on not fitting it lol)
• Im also thinking about a wee holiday towards the end of the year if i can get some pennies together

I really need to stop buying clothes - especially ones that are a size or two too small! haha!! there is the intention of fitting into them (which is a good thing) but i really need to stop now and concentrate on diet and exercise more

on saying that im heading off to the gym...it's a glorious day but figure its only an hour and my hips need all the help i can get!

night all! :)

tattoos

So im planning my next tattoo's

I want this around my original chinese symbols on my back

and i really fancy something like this on the side of my foot

http://www.barcodesinc.com/generator/image.php?code=EveLynseyClark&style=165&type=C128B&width=200&height=50&xres=1&font=3

it's the actual barcode for my name which i think i might link to this blog (how i do that i have no idea!! but where's there a will there's a way!!)

Well hello there!

How are we all? Not that i think there is anyone there but i like to pretend lol.

So i've been in planning mode...been to B&Q and getting some paint and varnish for my home. It will look pretty and well more me eventually!

Gotto go try on my bridesmaid dress tonight - dreading it as A) I have to walk into a bridal shop and b) I am a fatty tatty! Really need to get my butt kicked into gear and get back to the gym full time. Might arrange to meet my PT again and he can give me the shove i need!

Also been looking into a new car, love the old one but cant keep up the repayments as it was supposed to be a joint car. So something newer, smaller and more me! I will repay my parents eventually! eeek!

Hand eventually getting better though it aches at times, trying swimming again and even though i feel like a floundering whale im getting there slowly. Weird thing is my left hand is feeling good these days so i might not have to get more surgery! Fingers crossed!!

In other news... it's been 5 weeks since he left and not heard a peep...well apart from him telling me that he cant afford to pay me half the deposits for the wedding as he has to pay for a holiday to mexico! Pay for his new car! and also furniture as he's moving in with his cousin. Oh poor him, in the meantime I have lost heaps and am dealing with bills he never paid for. The git!  The man I met and agreed to marry is no where near the man he is now...guess I had a lucky escape then! Onward and upward i say!!

right better get cracking...I have a weekend of planning ahead of me and lots of RnR bliss!

Im so sorry ive not been about...

things i've done since i've last been on...

bought a car, bought a new place, had first christmas with both families in our house, started to plan the wedding..

then other half decided this wasnt the life for him and walked away 3 short weeks ago

so things i have done since then are cancel the wedding and try to get my life back on track.
Im not going to lie it's not easy - my house reminds me of us, my car reminds me of us and at the moment I am doing anything to keep me busy and try to sleep some.

Im off for a girly weekend in york tomorrow - cant wait!

I'll post more when im back from that and hopefully in a slightly better place. :)

it's good to be back